The Hidden Guilt Trip Behind "Breast is Best"

Here’s what no one is talking about.

The pressure.

The guilt.

At the very first mum guilt event I held, I was surprised at how many mums, years after having their babies, still carried guilt about feeding. Either they couldn’t breastfeed or didn’t do it for as long as they expected to.

I thought breastfeeding my triplets would be a breeze. I wasn’t just being idealistic, I was misinformed, possibly even mislead. No one tells you how hard it can be.

I even joined a “support” group for twin and triplet mums where the toxic message was clear: “Good mums just keep trying. Failure is not an option.”

Here’s my reality:

🍼 My babies were born by C-section and whisked off to NICU where they stayed for weeks

🍼 Skin-to-skin was rare because they were hooked up to machines

🍼 They were nasal tube-fed at first and when we could try breastfeeding, their tiny premature mouths couldn’t get the hang of it.

Oh, and then there was the inescapable fact that there were three of them and I only had two boobs.

I tried everything. Lactation consultants in the public and private sector. The worst advice?

“Tandem feed two, prop the third in a bouncer with a bottle.”

I tried it. The baby in the bouncer vomited the entire feed. The worst part wasn’t the mess, it was the expectation that this was possible and that if I couldn’t pull it off, I was failing.

I breastfed for over a year, but never exclusively. We combi-fed with formula. It was a Herculean effort, and I still felt like I wasn’t good enough.

That’s the problem with “Breast is Best.” It sounds like a health guideline, but it plants a seed of guilt and shame for those of us who struggle.

If you’re still carrying feeding mum guilt, let it go. Show yourself (and other mums) some compassion. You and your incredible body did your best. And before you criticise it, remember: it created human life.

Do you think it’s time to rethink the phrase “Breast is Best”? I’d love to hear your experiences.