I’m Giving Myself A Lifetime Achievement Award

And I think you deserve one too

Give yourself a f***ing round of applause

(pic: Jerry, Frankie and Rafa looking like they are in a police line-up in their hastily-bought school uniform ready for their first day)

This post is for you if…

• You’re brilliant at noticing what you haven’t done, and terrible at celebrating what you have.

• You’ve survived a big season of motherhood and rushed straight on to the next thing without marking it.

• You can’t remember the last time you paid yourself a compliment.

Mums are traditionally crap at acknowledging and celebrating their achievements. Which is a shame because if we don’t, often no one will. And today, I’m going all out. It’s the big one. The triplets finally started school. Only for a few hours, obvs. But still, it’s a new era.

The staff handed out care packages to the parents containing a packet of tissues, a tea bag and a cookie. Whilst other parents hugged teary eyes, Jerry went straight in and didn’t even want a kiss goodbye, my other two went merrily in (keen to get dry - we’d been waiting outside in the pouring rain for 10 minutes at this point) and I gave my husband a high 5 and yelled, “We did it! We got through the last 4 years, actually 5 if you include the high-risk pregnancy.”

Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you how many times we’ve been in hospital, or ambulances, how many nights of feeding 3 babies every 3 hours we did, how many toddler tantrums I’ve dealt with or how many fights I’ve broken up.

But we made it. So please Mama, raise your coffee.

I feel free. Lighter. A whole world of possibilities has opened up for me.

For the last few years, any work I’ve done has been precariously balanced around patchy childcare. Now I finally have the time I’ve craved to grow this F*** Mum Guilt movement.

And I’m wasting no time. Tomorrow I’m on stage at Ideas Fest.

If you’d have told me, when I gave birth, what motherhood would cost me in terms of my career, my finances, my health (mental and physical), my marriage, my relationships, I just wouldn’t have believed you.

Mums are paying “the motherhood penalty” in all areas of our lives from sleep, to wealth to health. And no one seems to notice. A lot of the work we do is invisible, expected and not even appreciated, so let’s just take a f***ing moment right now and celebrate ourselves.

Just take a moment to think about all you’ve overcome, the challenges, the battles, the tantrums, the sleepless nights. And still you rise up ready for the next one, and make sure everyone’s got clean pants while you’re at it.

So this one is for you. I’m raising my coffee to you and all you do.

And the award goes to…

If motherhood had its own awards ceremony, what would you win? I’m looking for entrants in these categories:

🏆Most Interrupted Mum (for the mum who literally can’t finish a sentence)

🏆Outstanding Contribution to Finding Things That Are Right In Front of Everyone Else

🏆Best Supporting Actress in a Three-Year-Old’s Drama

What else should I include? Let me know in the comments, and what would you win?