Summer Holiday Anxiety?
Here's what I'm doing to protect my energy and stay calm.
There’s no two ways about it. I have been feeling seriously anxious about school term (and therefore childcare) coming to an end. My triplets enjoy 15 hours a week childcare. Or should that be I enjoy those 15 hours. But now the calendar feels dangerously empty. Nothing but tumbleweed blowing across the rest of July, August and the beginning of September.
Plus the extra pressure of trying to meet all my deadlines and schedule all my meetings before Friday.
Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the reality.
But right now, I’m feeling pretty close to a panic attack.
(Pic: the triplets posing at their leavers’ party. The best part of this party was when we all sat in a circle and each child said what they wanted to be when they grow up. One girl said, “Dolly Parton”. )
There’s so much about summer that’s out of our control
The sibling fights. (Last week, my mum, who taught Early Years in Croydon schools for decades, was in tears and shouted “I just want to be on my own” after just 3 nights staying with us. Welcome to my life, Mum)
The failed expensive days out.
The comparison trap - the sickening photos that will clog up our feeds and make us feel like failures.
The heatwaves that prevent all emotional regulation (adults and children alike).
But here’s what we can control: our energy. Our mindset. Our thermostat.
Summer isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon. So let’s pace ourselves like athletes.
1. Eat. And drink water.
Sounds basic, but I skipped lunch today after packing everyone else’s and only realised when I was shaky and short-tempered. (Coffee ≠ food.)
2. Build in micro-breaks
As soon as the boys are down for the evening, I put an audiobook on my phone for them, clip the lead on the dog and go for a walk. Sometimes I go for a longer walk to the beach, sometimes I want to put some tunes on and run, but sometimes I literally just enjoy the 10 minutes of silence as we walk around the block. These 10 minutes cleanse the stress of the day.
3. Compassion > comparison.
We can turn to the third step of breaking up with mum guilt and choose compassion over comparison. Yes, there will be sickening holiday photos on your feed. Mums that look unfeasibly good in bikinis. Wholesome family photos. But my last holiday was hell. No one films the looks everyone on the plane shoots you when your kids scream with earache.
Bonus tip: Keep it simple.
Best moments so far? My boys had hours of fun this afternoon running around the garden naked, squirting themselves and the plants with cheap water pistols. You’d think it’d get old, but it doesn’t. I haven’t even invested in a paddling pool yet – I’m saving that for when things get desperate.
The expectations on mums over the summer are unfair.
We’re supposed to be able to just pull it all out of Mary Poppins’ bag and serve up a summer of memories. Don’t even get me started on the whole “You’ve only got 18 summers” rhetoric.
Summer doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs you to be fuelled enough to laugh, recover after the hard moments (which will surely come) and keep your patience and sense of humour for tomorrow.
The single most important thing you can do is look after your own energy. Keep your inner thermostat under control. We’ve got an ultramarathon ahead of us, mamas, and we don’t want to blow out before we get to the second mile.
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