Oh my word I got to the end of that article and my mouth literally dropped open when you said that you managed to laugh off the last debacle of the trip with the bag in the bus. Much respect for having any laughter in you at all by that stage.
So much resonance with this story. I was living in laos when i got pregnant and went to Australia to deliver then took the boys (born two years apart) back to Laos when they were five weeks old both times. It was… Hard. We flew from Laos to the US when my eldest was seven months old and I said I was not doing that trip again until our youngest child was at least three. And we did not.
We lived in the north of Laos for three years between 2010 and 2013 and then the south of Laos for the next two years. It was remarkable. It was also very isolating and anxiety provoking to become a mother while living somewhere with no English speaking doctors and few English speaking friends. My spoken Lao got pretty good, but not good enough to really have a relaxed conversation.
That’s seriously impressive. Having a baby in a place where you are not native and don’t necessarily understand how things work/how to access support and obviously don’t have your own friends and family from home is phenomenal.
Or crazy 🤪. The food was incredible though. Our food is amazing 99% of the time. Any other 1% I was rather brutally reminded that we were in Asia, and my tummy might not be up to the task.
this is my proof we were right to holiday at the grandparents this year 🤪toddlers and holidays are not the one, honestly you did well to survive this- the triple room payment?! x
Oh god not D&V in a prison cell. What hell! Sounds like a crap resort given how unhelpful they were from start to finish.
Good food for thought on keeping things simple and staycations.
When my son was 6mo we went to Tuscany for a wedding, even took my mum, it should have been a dreamy break…for several reasons it was not, I did not sleep for five nights and went half insane, we’d have been better off leaving him with mum and going just for the wedding. Just with one baby! Let alone three toddlers!!
That sounds far from “dreamy” my cousin has just been invited to an overseas wedding with a baby and a 3 year old and is panicking already. It’s too much
Totally get this!!! Our recent trip to cornwall this Easter was a nightmare. Our car broke down on the way there and so it lived in the carpark during our stay. First day my 3 year old got the sickness bug and threw up all over the caravan. So we couldn't go to any of cornwalls beaches because we had no car and a sick kid. The final day AA 'fixed' our car so we went to one beach and it rained. We then drove home and the car broke down AGAIN! Absolute shit show from start to finish 🤣😭
Oh man, as I read this I totally feel your pain. It’s those moments that you question why you ever thought it was a good idea to make life harder than usual.
Before I took the boys away, I asked a twin mum about going on holiday as she said, “I’d rather stand in my kitchen and burn money” when you’ve had a bad one, you know what she means.
As you've pointed out before many of these idyllic (dare I say bucolic) trips are with ONE child with no additional needs and TWO able parents and bags of money. Plus you only see the picture perfect postcard front with the 'wish you were here' caption. Read between the lines!
This was never my reality as a single mom of 2 with one autistic child (who when married had a partner who's contribution did not extend beyond himself except to drive the car and load what I'd packed with plenty of judgement). Camping was the best option for us as the open spaces and go with the flow rhythm suited-- only the weather to contend with.
Yeah, we've just got back from camping (yet to shower) and there was a great sense of freedom in the simplicity of it all. When we went on that all inclusive the boys were put on sailing boats and all these fancy activities when all they really want is some other kids to kick a ball about with or ride bikes with. We don't need all that excess and stimulation. Keep it simple sister x
I completely relate to this. The need to continue to travel after kids but having to learn the hard way. I still know people who've been to Bali with small kids but I know that for now simple is best and that's ok. Great post x
Thank you for your kind words. My brother actually lives out in Bali and has done for years. When the triplets were about a year, I seriously considered taking them out there but the more I looked into it, even the flight felt like too much to pull off. We will make it one day, in the meantime it's much easier and cheaper for my brother to come to us a couple of times a year.
Thank you for sharing when things go wrong or don’t turn out as expected. It’s comforting when other parents don’t have it all together and the same time
My 3yo just threw up on a plane ... and in spite of not peeing *in* his pants at all, still managed to pee *on* his pants while I was dealing with the baby and he was trying to sit on a kids-size-but-still-awkward toilet.
Hang in there! Things with my oldest kid improved quite a bit from 3.5 on in terms of being able to stay in less-kidproof spaces.
Haha so much pee! He basically sat on the potty and peed ... but he hadn't pulled his pants down far enough, and was sitting at an able that meant the pee basically went between the seat and the basin. Ish. The trip was still well worth it!
Oh I’m sorry but that made me laugh - how did the pee get everywhere? I don’t want to know. One of mine deliberately peed on his ride on Batmobile today - it stinks!
Oh my word I got to the end of that article and my mouth literally dropped open when you said that you managed to laugh off the last debacle of the trip with the bag in the bus. Much respect for having any laughter in you at all by that stage.
So much resonance with this story. I was living in laos when i got pregnant and went to Australia to deliver then took the boys (born two years apart) back to Laos when they were five weeks old both times. It was… Hard. We flew from Laos to the US when my eldest was seven months old and I said I was not doing that trip again until our youngest child was at least three. And we did not.
Wow that sounds really adventurous. What was it like living in Laos?
We lived in the north of Laos for three years between 2010 and 2013 and then the south of Laos for the next two years. It was remarkable. It was also very isolating and anxiety provoking to become a mother while living somewhere with no English speaking doctors and few English speaking friends. My spoken Lao got pretty good, but not good enough to really have a relaxed conversation.
That’s seriously impressive. Having a baby in a place where you are not native and don’t necessarily understand how things work/how to access support and obviously don’t have your own friends and family from home is phenomenal.
Or crazy 🤪. The food was incredible though. Our food is amazing 99% of the time. Any other 1% I was rather brutally reminded that we were in Asia, and my tummy might not be up to the task.
This week's post that just went up is related to mum guilt and living in Laos. Here's a link: https://lisamckay.substack.com/p/what-i-learned-to-say-instead-of
this is my proof we were right to holiday at the grandparents this year 🤪toddlers and holidays are not the one, honestly you did well to survive this- the triple room payment?! x
So many people have shared toddler holiday horror stories with me. Can we all just stop pretending they are a good idea? or in any way enjoyable?
Oh god not D&V in a prison cell. What hell! Sounds like a crap resort given how unhelpful they were from start to finish.
Good food for thought on keeping things simple and staycations.
When my son was 6mo we went to Tuscany for a wedding, even took my mum, it should have been a dreamy break…for several reasons it was not, I did not sleep for five nights and went half insane, we’d have been better off leaving him with mum and going just for the wedding. Just with one baby! Let alone three toddlers!!
That sounds far from “dreamy” my cousin has just been invited to an overseas wedding with a baby and a 3 year old and is panicking already. It’s too much
Yeah honestly maybe best save the cash…stress not worth it 😅
“I’d rather stand in my kitchen and burn money,” is a hilarious response. Sorry you had a rough time of it 🤍
Totally get this!!! Our recent trip to cornwall this Easter was a nightmare. Our car broke down on the way there and so it lived in the carpark during our stay. First day my 3 year old got the sickness bug and threw up all over the caravan. So we couldn't go to any of cornwalls beaches because we had no car and a sick kid. The final day AA 'fixed' our car so we went to one beach and it rained. We then drove home and the car broke down AGAIN! Absolute shit show from start to finish 🤣😭
Oh man, as I read this I totally feel your pain. It’s those moments that you question why you ever thought it was a good idea to make life harder than usual.
Before I took the boys away, I asked a twin mum about going on holiday as she said, “I’d rather stand in my kitchen and burn money” when you’ve had a bad one, you know what she means.
As you've pointed out before many of these idyllic (dare I say bucolic) trips are with ONE child with no additional needs and TWO able parents and bags of money. Plus you only see the picture perfect postcard front with the 'wish you were here' caption. Read between the lines!
This was never my reality as a single mom of 2 with one autistic child (who when married had a partner who's contribution did not extend beyond himself except to drive the car and load what I'd packed with plenty of judgement). Camping was the best option for us as the open spaces and go with the flow rhythm suited-- only the weather to contend with.
Yeah, we've just got back from camping (yet to shower) and there was a great sense of freedom in the simplicity of it all. When we went on that all inclusive the boys were put on sailing boats and all these fancy activities when all they really want is some other kids to kick a ball about with or ride bikes with. We don't need all that excess and stimulation. Keep it simple sister x
I completely relate to this. The need to continue to travel after kids but having to learn the hard way. I still know people who've been to Bali with small kids but I know that for now simple is best and that's ok. Great post x
Thank you for your kind words. My brother actually lives out in Bali and has done for years. When the triplets were about a year, I seriously considered taking them out there but the more I looked into it, even the flight felt like too much to pull off. We will make it one day, in the meantime it's much easier and cheaper for my brother to come to us a couple of times a year.
Oh wow that's perfect for future travels! Available for house swaps (although I don't think the Midlands is as appealing!)
Thank you for sharing when things go wrong or don’t turn out as expected. It’s comforting when other parents don’t have it all together and the same time
Definitely don’t have it all together over here x
My 3yo just threw up on a plane ... and in spite of not peeing *in* his pants at all, still managed to pee *on* his pants while I was dealing with the baby and he was trying to sit on a kids-size-but-still-awkward toilet.
Hang in there! Things with my oldest kid improved quite a bit from 3.5 on in terms of being able to stay in less-kidproof spaces.
Haha so much pee! He basically sat on the potty and peed ... but he hadn't pulled his pants down far enough, and was sitting at an able that meant the pee basically went between the seat and the basin. Ish. The trip was still well worth it!
Oh I’m sorry but that made me laugh - how did the pee get everywhere? I don’t want to know. One of mine deliberately peed on his ride on Batmobile today - it stinks!