The Christmas Card That Changed My Brother’s Life
And the New Year writing ritual it created
A powerful story about agency, fresh starts, and designing a year that actually works for you…
OK, bear with me. This might sound a little woo, but this is honestly the single most powerful coaching tool I have to share.
To quote Mark Ronson, “Don’t believe me? Just watch”
It’s a few days before my 37th birthday, my alcoholic brother has just been kicked out by his fiancée - for good this time (Lord knows that girl put up with enough). He’s turned up at my door because we have an important creative meeting with an author in an hour but is clearly in NO FIT STATE.
I sit him down in the garden and tell him he needs to pull himself together.
He weeps.
I hand him some Rescue Remedy (I know, it’s not going to touch the sides).
And then I say something that changes everything.
I tell him this: That he will become the man he wants to be. Or he won’t. But it’s on him.
At the same time, my best friend was in the middle of an agonising IVF journey. Her chances were around 40%. Tops. There was nothing she could do to improve those odds.
My brother, on the other hand, had something radically different.
He had agency.
“Write a Christmas card to yourself now”
Wet, squinting eyes blinked at me in confusion.
“Start it like this,” I said. ‘It is now Christmas Day and I have been sober for four months.’
Four months sounded outrageous. Impossible. It was beyond the stretch of even the most generous optimist (like me). I encouraged him to keep writing, about losing weight, getting healthy again, getting those credit cards paid down, all the draining weights he was carrying.
He wrote…
For the rest of that year, every time I went to his flat, I noticed that Christmas card sitting on the shelf in the hallway. Quiet. Unshowy. But constant.
A reminder of where he was headed.
On Christmas Day, he opened it.
Not long after he got sober, he became a coach who helps other men do the same.
Here’s the thing.
Everyone has the power to write themselves a letter like that.
It’s free.
It’s simple.
And it’s game-changing.
Do it.
(Pic: My brother playing with Frankie at the beach on Christmas Eve. This might not look remarkable, if you didn’t know how bad the before pictures were.)
My New Year’s Ritual
Although this is great at any time. I make a point of doing it every New Year’s. Tonight, I will open the letter I wrote a year ago, and hopefully smile and see how much I made happen this year. Then I’ll write the next one. Here’s how:
1, I get a piece of paper and write down all the things I’m DONE with and don’t want to carry into the next year e.g. “Self-doubt, people-pleasing, mum guilt” - you get the idea.
2, I rip these little bits of paper up and burn them, in a bowl or chuck them in the fire. No flames? You could put them in the bin if you do it with enough drama for your soul to know you mean it.
3, I get a fresh piece of paper and write “It is now New Year’s Eve 2026, and this year has been ____________. I have done so many things I’m proud of, including ____________.”
That’s it.
That’s the doorway.
That ought to get you started. Just let it flow.
Stop, Wait a Minute
Still need convincing?
This works because:
It’s manifestation, yes you are putting what you want out to the Universe.
It uses the same neuro-hack as visualisation - this is just the writers’ edition. Our brains don’t cleanly separate future and present.
It creates clarity. And clarity is power.
You can’t move toward what you haven’t named.
Radical Reset for Mamas
Which brings me to this.
I’ve set the date for our next get-together.
It’s free.
It’s post-bedtime (for UK mamas, at least).
12 January, 8pm.
The most radical thing you can do this year isn’t setting a huge goal.
It’s designing a year that actually works for you – with you at the centre.
Most mums don’t need another ambition.
They need a pause.
A moment to breathe and ask: how do I want to feel this year?
Because so many of us build our lives backwards – giving our best energy to everyone else, then surviving on scraps. By December, we’re running on fumes. (Or is it just me?)
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Come along, meet other mums who get it, and leave with:
A simple life-design framework to help 2026 work with you
Clarity on what actually fills your cup, big and small.
Permission to prioritise yourself without guilt
No hustle.
No fixing.
No pretending you’ll “get to yourself later”.
Just clarity, connection, and a year that starts with you feeling resourced.
Hit the button below to register for free.
See you soon Mamas,
Leila x