What camping with triplets taught me we've got wrong about modern parenting

Field notes from a campsite

In my last post, I shared the most expensive parenting mistake we ever made - going on a fancy all-inclusive family holiday. We spent thousands and it was an apocalyptic disaster movie.

So this year, we went camping (ahem: glamping). 2 families. 5 boys 5 and under, and it was magical.

Sure it was challenging in parts, and the boys were having so much fun with the big kids that they pretty much went to bed when we did and were ratty and emotional the next day.

But spending a few days in a field, away from all the usual trappings of modern family life (like electricity), made me realise how much we’ve overcomplicated parenting.

5 modern-day parenting fails

1, Kids (and adults for that matter) do not need constant stimulation or entertaining.

Kids are perfectly capable of making their own entertainment. Put a bunch of kids in a field, all different ages and backgrounds, some even speaking different languages, and pretty soon they’ll be making friends, kicking a ball about, riding bikes together and inviting each other to their birthday parties. Fact.

2, Kids need freedom to grow.

The youngest in our group was just 3 years old, and the absolute highlight of the whole trip was the look on his face when he rode a pedal bike for the first time, then pedalled non-stop around the field on a dirt track through long grass for the next 20 minutes. To him, it was Everest, more than that, the biggest, wildest adventure imaginable. He was a champion.

Rafa and Jerry went “hunting” for blackberries with the big kids in the thorny thicket and felt extremely grown up, and possibly ready for some kind of ITV survival show.

It’s much easier to give them this confidence-boosting freedom in a contained environment. And watching them reminded me how much they gain when we give them the space to figure things out without us.

3, Instant gratification isn’t doing any of us any favours.

I get it, I’m impatient and when we’ve all got so much on our mum to-do lists, faster = better. Or so it seems. Camping is the antidote to instant gratification culture.

Fancy a coffee? Great, let me just fetch the water, light the fire and make that for you. I may be a little longer than a Nespresso machine. But who wants a Nespresso when you can have this rich, slow ceremonial process.

Left your favourite toy in the car and didn’t realise until bedtime? No problem, let me just hike over the next field with a head torch and get it for you.

Need a wee? Now? Seriously?

4, We all need to slow the f*** down.

We’re a very active family and I cannot resist the urge to squeeze one more thing in but camping was a reminder that we cannot regulate when we’re rushing. We need nature to slow us down, to sit and watch the sunset because there is literally nothing else to do.

5, We have too much stuff.

Camping is basic. I’m talking Maslow’s hierarchy basic: shelter, warmth, food. I actually took a bag of activities and games for the kids. They didn’t even open it.

Since we’ve come back, I’ve been decluttering our house like a woman possessed.

Our bedroom now looks calm, rather than a dumping ground for the stuff we unpacked when we moved, then didn’t know what to do with. I’ve cleared out all the toys and books that are too young for my triplets now - and as a bonus I left them outside my house with a “please take” sign and have now met some lovely young families in the area. I’m working up to tackling their clothes… but James filled the van and drove to the tip today and honestly, the energy in the house feels lighter.

Camping stripped things back to basics. And weirdly, parenting got easier.

The mental load was lighter when there wasn’t so much stuff, so much choice, so much planning and so much pressure to keep everyone entertained.

And my kids loved it so much that when I pointed out we couldn’t stay any longer because we’d run out of clean shorts, they came up with a solution:

Go home. Do the washing. Come straight back.

I must admit, I did google a few other campsites on the way home.

What do you think we’ve overcomplicated about modern parenting?

I write unapologetically about triplet motherhood, mindset and breaking up with mum guilt. If you’d like a shot of that every week, subscribe below.